It is weird kind of, not blogging for so long despite having so much going on and so many things on my mind. Hello world it’s me again. The last time I was on here was September of 2012. Now as I type this MY new year is coming. It is not January it is March, my favorite month, not just due to my birthday but because I LOVE springtime and outdoors free of snow. Do not get me wrong I enjoy snow as well just not nearly as much as all things coming back to life and the incredible optimism that comes with it. Speaking of optimism let’s chat shall we, there is much to speak of.
BACK TO WORK
Anyone that knows of Christina and I know that we have been on the ropes as far as work goes since I lost my job at GameStop in 2008. Not one job has stayed solid with the potential for more or even held my interest. I was thinking to myself at times; “WHY?!”, but recently I have tried to approach it from a different view.
September was my last post and we were facing another eviction and other bad stuff. I started working for the retail company Dollar General a few weeks after the last post. I had given up on the chance to become a machinist after multiple interviews and learning even after my classes over the summer that I knew NOTHING of the trade, I figured getting to work was more important than chasing anything anymore. At 33 years old with a wife and 3 little ones we needed to gain SOME financial stability. DG was everything I expected and less. I had to interview with these guys like 4 times despite being MORE than qualified to run one of their stores with my eyes closed, I was offered an assistant manager position. At this point I had resigned myself to simply work anywhere like I was working for GOD and let him lead me and watch things unfold. I was not discouraged just disappointed with the place. Still it did not deter me. While working there I had multiple encounters with people offering either advice, leads or job positions with various companies. I stayed the course and no I did not hate the job, because I LOVE helping people and I have to admit the store was close to the local community as well as having a rapport with regulars that developed almost instantly.
All was going OK, the plan was to prepare me to take over a store in six months and I was legitimately working towards the goal despite my personal underwhelmed feeling about the company. It felt like the retail company that did not care about making things easier for its employees or structuring things in a way that was most conducive for moral or productivity. In addition to these the pay was deplorable for whats expected of the managers and staff. I knew full well what I was getting into with the potential of taking over a store, still I was preparing to stay the course. Then it happened…
2 weeks into my DG experience I received a call from a company named Tranor. A company based out of Detroit that is a tool and die shop. A company I had interviewed for after my classes in June and all but had the job. I was trying to have my cake and eat it too by being closer to home and NOT having to go work to far from home due to a bad experience with Ford (A.C.H). This was a BAD decision on my behalf and I was not going to repeat it. At the time I was looking at a few other positions and still had interviews to await the results of. Again a BAD call on my part. Jerry the machine shop leader at Tranor had called me back and asked if I wanted to interview again. I did. The 1st interview I wore a shirt and tie for this one I was all business and no polish. Black pants and a flannel top over a polo with my boots. I walked in and asked for my paperwork to fill out, no second walk through and no big sit down talk. They even granted my request for 2 weeks to give DG time to make adjustments and for me to leave on good terms. I was at DG a complete month and a day before starting at Tranor as a machine apprentice.
In between transition of jobs Christina was hesitant to jump on board with my job change so early. I too had some reservations but something inside me overpowered all of my doubts. I KNEW this was the right choice! I do not make decisions without my wife and her opinion(s) on things so as always I checked with her. She thought I might be leaving an opportunity on the table with DG. At this stage I was feeling GOD had opened that door AGAIN and only FAITH would pull me through. I honestly did not know what I was headed into, but truly it was the right call! For the 1st time since the Army and my ascension at GameStop I had direction and a real path in my profession. I rarely if ever tap into my aggression but GOD tapped me to use it and make a call and not wait to see how things fall.
Looking back the experience was surreal retail ending for the chance at a job with a future and potential. It is easy and has not been easy. I REALLY SUCK at the job, but they are paying for me to go back to school to become a tool and die maker, they are patient with me and we work A LOT! I have not destroyed any parts or made any MAJOR mistakes, but I am VERY slow at everything right now and getting use to all the rules for what we do. In a way I could not ask for a better place. I am made humble everyday and reminded of how much I do not know but have to work to learn. Recently I had my schedule switched over to second shift and am on 12 hour shifts 1600 to 0430 or for non Zulu time folks 4:00pm to 4:30am. So that is where we are on the job front.
MY FAMILY (the ones I was born to)
Well what can be said? It hurts more tan word can express in reference to the happenings of my father, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. Have you ever been lifted to a really high point in your life by people who show you how GREAT things could be, it cannot be taught per se, but felt and as you feel your way through the experience due to the different people in your life you try to recreate the same kind of lifestyle or standard? This is what was for me. In recent years though it is like the emotional base taken right from under me. Since the passing of my mother in 2006 I knew things would go south I just did not know how far. My mother was one of the pillars of my family and none have tried to step up to fill the gap. I think in part it was because we did not know enough to do so instead of us working together to heal the wound everyone just kind of went their own selfish way. I am not arrogant enough to believe I did any different either. To me it seemed the writing was on the wall and that the only way to reclaim the blessing of my Mom’s love was to put it into practice the best way I could and strike out and plant my family tree due to this one dying. It still hurts…so bad. I never was able to hand my Mom one of her grandchildren from me and I always wished her and Christina had the opportunity to really connect and talk. In some defense of my family tree it is not dead yet but it is VERY sick and all will be lost without a collective effort. I guess I want to take all the good I can from that tree and not let that part die with what I know and groom it with a new group of seeds. And with that said with my Mom and Dad being the groundwork let’s get to specifics;
My Dad as awesome as he is, moved on after my Mom passed on. Slowly at first, as more death happened in the family; the house in shambles and not fit to live in, the relationships between us, the connection to the children, and our overall family bond. I guess even though I lost my Mom and it HURT, I did not lose half of myself. How does one bounce back from that? Christina and I have been together coming up on 7 years, 6 married and I could not imagine life without her. Now the Old man is getting remarried to a very nice and ambitious woman named Earnestine. I have nothing against my Dad moving on, he deserves it, but his children are still here. There is still an obligation and we still need him even if not in the way we used to. Earnestine I only know because she is part of my Dad’s life no other reason. She will be the woman my Dad has chosen to marry after my Mom, never will she be my Mom. She is not apart of my life for any other reason other than my Dad and the relationship will be between them not all of us. True enough she will be apart of the picture but to me only as my Dad’s wife nothing more. If we have a relationship beyond that nice but I will not hold my breath.
As far as their wedding my Dad has yet to talk to me himself about it, which makes me believe that either he does not want to or does not care to. I have called him about it 3 times to no avail. Until Earnestine called me yesterday I was ready to say “oh well…” to the wedding thing. I will try to keep posting of this up to date as I get more info.
My Grandmother Mosley, well she is back in the hospital after being found on her floor after 8 or 9 days. Currently she is at the physical rehab center to get back on her feet. I can only imagine how this will turn out. Will attempt to keep updates available.
The siblings, Erika, George, Torri, Mishon all have their own stories. Most of it I know nothing of because we either do not take about what is actually important or they talk about nothing I consider important. Priorities matter to me. I am not saying I am better just committed to family and doing my part to give a positive GOD centered lifestyle for my children. This causes a conflict due to there are things that are prioritized differently for Christina and I. I care about my WHOLE family, but I have influence over few. It matters what I do and say with my wife and children all the time so this area is my 1st priority. Erika recently had foot surgery and is recovering, Torri is Torri and her life has always been a puzzle to me. George is a survivor no matter what and his life has always been a roller coaster. I could write an entire post on Mishon all by herself and maybe I will. For now this is what I will say for now about them.
Christina, the children and I are doing well. Dorian Jr./Deuce continues to impress, develop, challenge and ask. His growth across the board is encouraging and makes me beam with pride. Bradley is a charming little chatterbox in the form of a boy tank! The dude is all but unstoppable at times and still a sensitive little lady-killer. I am afraid he is becoming aware of it. Talia is a demanding little sweetheart. She KNOWS what she wants and displays a level of comprehension that seems pretty advanced for her age, but I may just be biased. Christina continues to save the world one task at a time. A schedule for us is imperative to our health and sanity, we are still working on that. On a whole the household we continue to evolve and learn as challenges come we are delivered through them.
Right now focus and consistency are my watch words. I really am in search of a strong men’s fellowship group. GOD has not left us but I need to find out how to go further in my faith. Heritage church is another topic to speak on and there are many layers to it so again I will refrain from writing about this now and save it for later.
In just 9 days I will be 34 years old. Hard to believe. Christina mentioned a FANTASTIC idea and I believe I will subscribe to it. The New Year thing if you think about it is a society driven thing, but when you think about it a new year starts on one’s birthday. With my new year coming up fast I hope and pray I keep up all of my obligations as well as excel in new areas to better round out my faith, life and self.